If we truly love someone we will accept them without condition. This is what I mean:
- We will value them as a person regardless of their outward appearance, behavior, ideology, belief system, morals, attitude etc. They are of value because they are a human being whom God has created and given life.
- We will respect them. We will allow them to make their own decisions. We will allow them to have their own perspective.
- We will base our behavior towards them upon the above rather than upon how they treat us. We will strive to treat them better that ourselves.
Many will stop here when it comes to love, but there is a second, equally important, component to real true love which is truth.
If we truly love someone we will be honest with them. This means that we tell them how we feel - even if it is not positive. Though we accept them with their shortcomings, we also lovingly hold them accountable. Because my wife loves me, she will tell me when I have a spot on the back of my pants before I go out the door in the morning. And because she accepts me even though I have a spot on my pants, I can receive this criticism without taking it personally and getting angry.
We must practice speaking the truth in love. My wife could say, "how could you be so stupid as to put on a pair of pants with a spot in the back?" or she could say, "Dear, did you know there is a spot on the back of your pants?" Both statements might be true. However, the first is done with fighting words which attack my intelligence and imply that I am inferior. The second statement merely tells me the truth and allows me to make the decision regarding the action to be taken about it.
With pratice and a lot of help from the Holy Spirit, we can learn to love each other with acceptance and truth. The kind of love that Jesus has for each of us.
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